Hogmanay!

Dec. 31st, 2010 11:27 am
wigglewhiz: (Irn Bru)
I can' believe it's bloody Hogmanay already. Hogmanay, non-Scottish people, is December 31st. NOT January 1st, which is New Year's Day. There's been some confusion re: the actual DATE of Hogmanay here in Noo Zillund from the less Sottishly-exposed.

Anyway, aside from wondering WHERE DID THE YEAR GO?! (into a six month haze of unemployment-related POVERTY and BOREDOM, that's bloody where) and mulling over that whole New Year's Resolutions thingie, I've been thinking about old Scottish Hogmanay traditions and wondering if they're different from anywhere else.

Hogmanay is meant to really be The Main Event for us Scottish people, bigger than Christmas (and therefore Bigger Than Jesus, just like The Beatles). I reckon that's probably mostly to do with the capacity for EXCESSIVE DRINK, but anyway. It's not The Main Event for me, I've always been a bit blah about New Year. It's a New Year! Just like last one! And the one before that! YAY! o_O

Anyway, in the event that Scottish Hogmanay Tradtitions may be of interest to any of you, here's the ones I could think of:
  1. It's Good Luck for the first person over your threshold (the first footer) after the bells (midnight) to be a tall dark stranger (male, of course).
  2. It's BAD LUCK to leave the house before you have been first footed. (But SOMEONE'S got to be first, right?! Hence the tall dark stranger nonsense - clearly he is Not From Round Here, and it's all about our odd tribal hospitality thing, a bit like bedouins)
  3. The person to answer the door to the first footer should be the Man Of The House. The Wimmen Of The House should stay in the main room together, to be protected in the event that the first footer is rascally Auld Nick (the devil) come to make trouble.
  4. First footing presents which you should take with you to first foot someone (it's your duty to do at least one), should be some black bun and a piece of coal - symbolising food and warmth for the recipient family for all the year to come.
  5. What you're doing at the bells is what you'll be doing for the rest of the year. Which, in Scotland, is typically DRINKING and perhaps kissing strangers. So... yeah. o_O
Those are the main ones I can think of, and I have to say were very much in decline in Scotland even by the time I was an adult. It's weird to think of "traditions", presumably quite old, dying out within a lifetime. I imagine there are certainly still people doing them, and I think it might be one of those odd parabolic curve things where we youngsters stop doing that UNCOOL shit our parents did as soon as we're able to celebrate Hogmanay in our own way (by getting shit-faced, generally), and then suddenly come back to the old ways all nostalgic when we're proper grown-us or have our own families or whatnot.

One other thing that should be mentioned is madiera cake. You HAVE to have madeira cake for Hogmanay and New Year's Day, it's practically TEH LAW. I always remember how there was a subtle shift in the supermarkets from HUGE PILES OF CHRISTMAS CAKE to HUGE PILES OF MADEIRA CAKE in the intervening days between Christmas and Hogmanay. My personal favourites were just the lemon one and the sultana-filled one. NOT the one full of disgusting chewy tasteless glace cherries. BLERG.

O_O

I have the WORST craving for a piece of madeira cake now. GODDAMMIT SOCIAL CONDITIONING! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

In fact, I'm going to a New Year's thingie at the house of one of Himself's workmates. I might just look and see if I can find a madeira cake recipe and bake one to take with. And possibly buy a fruitcake and some pastry (CHEAT that I am) and see if I can locate a piece of coal. EX-PAT BECOMING SCOTTISHER THAN THOU, that's me!!1!



Edited to add: Now soliciting suggestions for a choon for Online Practise Club, to begin in the New Year! I've been trawling through my own collection, but any suggestions will also be considered! With many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] replyhazy  for the idea to kick our own collective asses. Yay!
wigglewhiz: (Default)
Remember when I bought those DVD's because I was TOTALLY going to integrate them into dance practise for both technique/stamina regain and exercise? Yeah, I haven't been doing any of that.

And remember when I realised that practise dancing beladi was more gratifying that trying to noodle to random music? I haven't been doing any of that either. In fact, I haven't been doing much of anything the last couple of weeks.

Hey, and know how I was waffling some shit about not using my core properly and what a revelation it was that I might want to, you know, DO THAT?! Well!

I put on some random, mindless Arabic pop this morning (Amr Diab Habibi Walah ala Baloh - CHEESETASTIC WESTERNISED DANCE REMIX AHOY!)
and I pottered about absent-mindedly dancing to it. I suddenly realised that I WAS CHEATING. I was doing allllllll shimmy overlays. Because it was EASIER. Not in the sense of shimmy overlays are EASY, because it takes us all ages to get those. BUT! Doing a figure eight as a shimmy overlay let me cheat and focus on the shimmy. I was NOT working the core properly.

So I switched to ordinary, bog standard eights and camels - and focussed all my energy on making them gooshy and juicy and muscular.

FWOOSH - happy exercisey endorphins! OHAI, U SEEM 2B WORKIN' OUT! LET US REWARD YOU!

O_O

How much of my dance dissatisfaction is because I HAVE BEEN CHEAT NOODLING BELLYLITE rather than OMG DANCE CAREER IS OOOOOOOOVERRRRRRRRR?!
wigglewhiz: (Default)

Potentially little-known fact among flisties: back in the dawn of time, before BD hit me like a freight train, I was an R.E.M. fan.

In fact, I went to this show, in the lovely grounds of Stirling Castle, back home in bonnie Scotland in... shit, sometime between 1999 and 2002. DAYUM, apparently according to one of the other YouTube videos it was 2004. It feels like much, MUCH longer ago.



My particular happy moment was when I found this one - because just before this video starts there was this fantastic collective moment, when Michael Stipe had pointed away from the stage towards the final disappearing rays of the setting sun, and the entire audience turned to follow his gaze, and there was this huge collective sigh. And he made some comment about how we'd all had a nice little moment together, before launching into MY FAVOURITE SONG. It was INCREDIBLE and it stuck with me ever since - it was my first moment of tarab, only I didn't know what to call it yet. You can kind of feel it with the rush of audience noise when the song begins, that's what kind of broke our collective spell.



The really interesting thing watching these videos back again is that I REALLY didn't realise the crowd was this big. I'm somewhere up front stage right. I was front centre stage until the very first song opened (Lotus) and the crowd started jumping and surging and I, as a short person, was lifted clean off my feet and just moved around like a little piece of flotsam in a big scary sea. I was hauled out by my big plush Mr Bump backpack straps by security before the song was even halfway through.

Anyway, our moment of tarab just before this is so hard to explain. This whole tour was one of smaller "intimate" venues, as chosen by the band. This one sold out in a RIDICULOUS tiny increment of time, and they could have sold out a bigger venue easily (I'd been to the previous Monster tour at the fecking massive sports arena in Edinburgh, where I was up the back in the nosebleeds and the people on stage were tiny vaguely beige matchstick men. In this one, I was close enough to see recognisable people. I could see that stripe of orange eyeshadow/pigment across Michael Stipe's brow. I could tell Mike Mills' shirt was VELOUR, baby. Or crushed velvet, whichever, it suited him. I could see facial expressions, and see the smile he has with the audience interplay at 1:02 and 2:02. It was SPECTACULAR.  You can see the effect in this later one:

 


See how the crowd are just INSANE?! The energy is through the damn roof - and see how we're all mirroring his hand gestures as we sing back to him? And how much he's loving it? Awesome. I even feel it again right now watching it (maybe you're all just thinking: "yeah, a crowd waving it's arms around. UNHEARD OF.") Maybe you had to be there.

Some time later, I would meet people who'd been at that show, and you'd say to each other: "Shit, WERE you? I didn't see you!" As if there was only a handful of people there. AND LOOK AT IT. It's huge. No wonder you didn't see your random mate there! And yet - that was the feel of it - the intimate, powerful feel that it was just you in your bubble at that moment, watching something incredibly special that left a mark on you. I can't explain for the life of me why, other than to say the band are FANTASTIC live and composed of seriously EXCELLENT and engaging public performers.

I've thought of this show and in particular it's weird "Were you there?! I didn't see you!" vaccuum effect many times since in my dance career - particularly when you come across people who were in one of your audiences and seem offended when you don't remember. It's a sea of faces when you're out there performing, but if you're lucky it can be a unique and powerful and special moment for you all. Chasing that moment of tarab is what keeps pulling me back to our dance, even though it's absence is a bit of a hole in my heart at the moment.

I've been a bit maudlin and.. strange today after going through some other R.E.M. tracks - my time as an R.E.M. fan was closely tied to my relationship with The Asshat Ex. I even had a sudden burst of awful, gasping tears at one song (totally unrelated, no reason whatsoever other than lyrical content) which suddenly brought back the rush of desperate grief that I initially had during the break up and  particularly the horrible night I knew he was having his first liaison with his new GF (don't ask me how I knew it was happening THAT NIGHT. Email stalkage. I DID IT. I'm not proud of it).

It's funny how music takes you places - raw, emotional places. Maybe even places that, like me, you thought didn't exist any more. And can leave you feeling in a very different state than you were when you started listening. It's powerful fire that we dancers and performers play with - the music in it's own right, the emotions of the audience, the whole vibe of the performance space.

Uh.... no real point to this entry other than yet moar navel gazing. I have no concusion other than: Hm. Now I feel weird. Take that as you will!

 


wigglewhiz: (Default)

This is NOT a depressing post. It's not, it's not, I promise. Or I don't mean it to be. It's just a navel-gazing post, as most of mine invariably are. OK, as ALL of them are.

 

INCREDIBLY long ramble! Seriously, get snacks now or face starvation! )





 
 


wigglewhiz: (Comet!)
If you haven't read [livejournal.com profile] replyhazy  's earlier post on the topic some time ago, I suggest you do to get yourself up to speed.

And then you can rate my submission for Terrifying Choreography Of The Day, with a slight Indian/Middle Eastern/Other Exotic That I Just Made Up feel about it as befits our particular realm of dance interest:





If you find this distrubing (because SHIT, I DO), please to be directing all blame to [livejournal.com profile] replyhazy , because SHE TOTALLY STARTED IT.
wigglewhiz: (Default)

I totally forgot to mention in yesterdays Rare Moments Of Gratitude post that I've recently received two emails from people enquiring about bellydance classes in Invercargill. One person found me from Bhuz, so presumably the Teachers Listings DO work and are searchable and everything! Yay!

The other person, I have NO IDEA where they found me from. I'm assuming possibly from the Attar teachers list? Anyway, the first person is Invercargill-born, currently in the UK, visiting in the New Year and hoping to fit in a class or two. The other person is based in a little township close by here and is interested in a weekly class, which I currently do not have. But it's all very interesting. I wasn't planning on marketing or advertising classes until I'd got myself more sorted out (including dropping a few kilos, because BLERG), but... hm. Perhaps It Is Time. *listens to Teh Fates*


blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah

 
Clicky through for some Random Product Reviews! Sponsored by WAFFLE! )

This has been Your Wigglewhiz Guide To Random Things. Next time: stuff I found at the supermarket! Weird fruit pastes for cheese - genuinely tasty addition or wanky food snobbery gone awry? New smelling orange dishwasher powder -  IS IT ORANGEY ENOUGH?

Or... not. ;o)
wigglewhiz: (Default)


Dear Flisties,

I love you all. You are awesome, fabulous, humorous, and really rather sexee individuals and I am so pleased to call you friends. Even in that weird, internet virtual life kind of way. Your well wishes have meant the world to me, and your effusive congratulations yesterday made my little soul sing even louder than the Crazy Birdie which wakes me up at 5am with his weird chattery sing-song right outside my bedroom window EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

*ahem*

I love reading about your lives on your journals, even when you're going through some poop and I find myself inarticulate and unable to do anything other than write "THAT IS POOP AND SUCKS BUT I LOVES YOU" and hope that you're not weirded out by that. (SRSLY, Flisties, I am sorry for my over-friendliness if it has spooged itself on you. I am like that IRL and if we meet one day I will probably squee and force myself on you in a total display of shameless socially awkward hugging).

In short, you've made my good news even better, and that's just unbelievably superb.

With lots of love and HUGS and fluffy bunnies,

Wiggle
XXX
 

 wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

... )

 

 

wigglewhiz: (Default)

*ahem hem*

Ladies and gentlemen.

It gives me great pleasure to announce:

Job Applications: 13
Interviews:             6
JOB OFFERS:  1

YEAH, BABY!

Company S called this afternoon (actually, they called earlier, all "We can't get a hold of your last referee, could you prod them for us?" and I freaked out and called Company P, all "DUDES! I know he's the CEO and he's BUSY, but I need someone to call this chick so I can get a job and can EAT for the next wee while! HELLO?! DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK UP THERE MOFO!!1!", and presumably they were pretty scared by the thought of me back in their office and called the woman) and have offered me the job.

So. Happy.

Happy doesn't really cut it. I put the phone down and went SQUEEEEEEEE!!! really loudly and largely involuntarily. I think I may even have clapped my hands gleefully like a certain weirdo brother of a certain Asshat Ex used to do (and we always laughed at him for it, so... yeah, someone laugh at me. I totally deserve it).

I have NO IDEA what the salary will be. They're sending me an offer letter via email tomorrow morning, so I shall see then. Hopefully it should be reasonable and won't take the edge off my present buzz. Slightly bad news is that I won't actually START until 17th January, so we'll most likely have to make do with our current single income for two months yet (because I won't be paid until February), which is kind of awkward and difficult and poop, but HEY! I HAZ A JOB!!1!

AND IT'S NOT PAYROLL!

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!





(apologies for unnecessary use of multiple colours, but well - is orange. For Horatio. Is teh law.)

AH, FUCK.

Dec. 17th, 2010 06:18 pm
wigglewhiz: (Default)

I haven't had a call from Company S.

I've spent a horrifyingly tense, lo-o-o-o-ong day waiting... just waiting, plowing my way through a family size bag of cookies (helpful) and trying not to lose my shit.

One of my references texted me in a tizz that she'd missed a call at 4:30pm. FUCK.

The other called me just after 5 to say that she'd had the call. And that she'd given me an excellent reference, so everything is sweet! Oh, apart from this one thing I just wanted to run by you - she asked me about any training and development you might need? And I couldn't think of anything. And then at the end I said I suppose you could do with some leadership training. I've no experience of you as a Team Leader, so I thought that might be something that would be good for your development. Is that OK? Did I say something wrong?

O_O

No. No, you just told a prospective employer that I need Leadership training and that you had no experience of me being a Team Leader.

AS A REFERENCE FOR A TEAM LEADER ROLE.

*sigh*

This referee left Company P before I acquired my two staff members (which... if I'm being totally honest didn't technically report into me. But since I was solely responsible for their training, delegating and monitoring their work, I decided it counted as leadership experience).

Now I'm thinking my referee - well intentioned, and a good friend - may have just made me look like a liar in my application.

And that a promising opportunity might just have turned into a puff of smoke.

Fuck.


wigglewhiz: (Default)
Well, that was very interesting. Met with the COO and the new CMO in one of the lovely old buildings of the hospital.

Turns out, they weren't meeting anyone except me. O_O

They told me a few things about the job and the set up, and how they're moving into a strategic planning phase, and blah blah blah. The CMO asked me a question about my work style - did I plan on managing the team by standing back (since they are very good workers) or by getting involved and doing the work myself? I said a bit of both - I want to know I can do the job of the people I manage in case there are workload or absence issues, etc. But I also don't shy away from making decisions and pushing things through or USING MAH AUTHORI-TAY.

The COO said that she hadn't contacte my references yet, but that "obviously, since we've called you back in to chat it's very positive!" She will be contacting my references when she's back from a business trip on Friday, and has said she'll let me know by the end of Friday.

I'm.... kind of thinking that if all goes well with my references (which it certainly should do), then I might be looking at a job offer on Friday. W00t w0000000000000000000000000000t!!1! Of course, I am not counting chickens or anything yet - I will believe it when I have a contract clasped in my grubby sweaty hands while I maniacally laugh.

*keeps fingers crossed*
wigglewhiz: (Default)
... because I am waiting nervously for my breakfast egg to boil, and then I have the mammoth task of hair straightening and getting ready and I kind of feel sick allready.

I am SO GLAD that Adam won Masterchef Australia last night. Personally (as with probably everyone else who was watching) I was MARION FTW all the way since basically the first show, and was GUTTED when she went out. My next fave pick was Aaron, and them BAM! He was out too.

And then I mostly just concentrated all my hate on Jonathan until he was - FINALLY, GAH - booted out.

Poor wee Adam was so intense in last night's epic episode - you could really see HOW MUCH it meant to him. I freely admit to crying when he was breaking down and describing how he usually came second, and how he wanted this with "everything I've got". Through the blubbering, I was all: "ADAM! I'M ROOTING FOR YOU, MATE!" and then I remembered that "rooting" means something else ENTIRELY here and stopped talking to the TV like a crazy lady.

Wee Callum is such a gawky, awkward sweet little guy, I felt kind of bad for rooting (snerk) for Adam against him, but I just felt Adam deserved it more - he's so inventive and has a clear, unique style. And besides, Callum is SO YOUNG and has plenty of chefery training potential ahead of him, so he doesn't need the title as much. He still did AMAZINGLY well, particularly in the invention test where he really obviously pulled out all the stops.

Can I also mention? Guava and Custard Apple Snow Egg. I WANT TO EAT THAT SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. Guava fool, layered with Guava granita with custard apple ice cream encased in a beautiful merangue sphere, surrounded in a crunch praline shell. FUCK YEAH!

I'm slightly concerned that I found judge Gary Mehigan really attractive. I KNOW. He... looks a little like Asshat Ex, which is worryng. O_O Still, looks a LITTLE like, but is a completely different persona - it's the foodieness and the wit and slightly more sophisticated edge that's attractive. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

Right. Enough Masterchef waffle. I am off to eat breakfast, and get ready for informal chatting about jobs that I WAAAAAAAAAAANT. Thank you luvverly flisties for all your support! ^_^ You warm the cockles of my evil black heart. I shall let you know how it goes.
wigglewhiz: (Default)

Today's been a weird day. Yesterday was... well, stressful. Today's been weird.

Cue self-indulgent waffle of randomness! )



And now the actually relevant newsy news after all that pointless ramble - I got a call from Company S. They want me to come back to the office tomorrow at noon for a "half hour informal chat about the position" with the COO and the Chief Medical Officer, who is new (very new... like arrived from overseas this week new) to the post, and to whom I would be reporting should I get the job.

I'm thinking this sounds really positive! I mean, it's not IN TEH BAG or anything, but I imagine they can't be having more than 2 or 3 people coming in for informal chats to meet this guy, and presumably he'll have the final say. Kind of a personality contest, i.e. Does He Think He Can Work With These Applicants? JOB IDOL: THE FINALE. I am crossing my fingers and toes and eyes and EVERYTHING and really hoping that I can turn this into a job offer. Wish me luck - I really, really need a fucking break right about now.


wigglewhiz: (Default)
I am a Batman fan.

As in, pretty much all forms of Batman, except for George Clooney. I'm not big into Christian Bale (squicks me out and makes me think of Tom Cruise, for some reason), but those Batman versions were enjoyable enough. Michael Keaton, though, for ME personally, had just the right edge of "very nearly psychotic" that I think Batman needs to have.

Anyway! Saturday mornings here chez Whiz involve watching the cartoon series Batman: The Brave And The Bold from my big snuggly bed. It's not my FAVOURITE Batman cartoonification evar, but it's watchable. This morning, however? It set me a-ranting at an ungodly hour of a non-working weekend morning.

It was one of those goddamned CROSSOVER episodes. Batman somehow crosses paths with some other DC comics superhero, and lessons are learned and experiences shared and BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. I'm watching for BATMAN. I don't care about bloody Superman or Spider-Man (who was always just too irritatingly ANGSTY and WHINY for my taste). Anyhoo, in this cross over, Batman and PLASTICMAN (gah) meet up with... UNCLE SAM AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS.

Gah.

Included in the Freedom Fighters?! DOLL MAN! THE HUMAN BOMB! PHANTOM LADY!

Dudes. AWESOME Superhero names. Can I be slightly sidetracked by how The Human Bomb is probably totally non-PC in our modern terrorist-laden times? I mean, I guess it's OK, because THIS Human Bomb fights FOR UNCLE SAM. Therefore it's good. It's stars-and-stripes-explodingly-all-over-your-screen good. ***W00t! Wave tiny American flags!***

But anyway, at this point I'm assuming (I like Batman, but I'm not up on EVERY ASPECT of the franchise) that this is rather an old series, and as such it's kind of awkwardly charming in it's anarchic non-pc ind of set up. Speaking of non-pc, did you check out Phantom Lady's AMAZING superpower?! You'll totally never guess - SHE TURNS INVISIBLE. I know, right?! AWESOMENESS!

What male comic book writer/reader DOESN'T want a hawt sexy mama who can just be vanished into thin air when she gets cranky/naggy/otherwise bored of? How many other goddamned invisible women are there in comics and sci-fi? Should we be receiving a message here, girls? Not so much seen and not heard - seen when we want to view your hawt short shorts, and then get me a sammich or vanish into thin air, kthnxbai. *eyeroll*.

Know of any Invisible MEN (aside from, you know, the obvious one) flisties? No? I can't think of any. Is that possibly because as a story it would be horrifically boring, because all said Invisible Man would do would be lurk around in ladies locker rooms working on developing one enormous Hulk arm? And thereby possibly causing a GLOBAL KLEENEX SHORTAGE, OMFG THINK OF THE CHILDRENNNNNN!?!

Huh.

Anyway, at the end of the episode, PlasticMan, who saves the day by discovering his patriotism (which, incidentally, we are encouraged to learn COMES FROM TEH HEART, rather than from learning dates and places and names. No, kids! GOD FORBID you should learn about significant events in your country's history lest you develop a political view OF YOUR OWN! Just sing Yankee Doodle Dandy! It doesn't even matter if you don't know the words. Uncle Sam will save the world for you if you JUST BELIEVE!!1!) - and he gets thanked by  someone very special, the Man In Charge Himself, the President of the USA get out here you goombah... BARACK FUCKING OBAMA.

WHUT?! This.. this is a NEW cartoon?! This blatantly flag-waving, completely undisguised propaganda machine? With Uncle Sam talking about fighting THE RED ALIEN MENACE?! Really?! Well, HOLY SHIT. We seem to have slipped back into 1940-something where we were teaching the kids to hate the Germans.

See the episode (illegally!) in three parts on YouTube - or just watch the last one for the Obama cameo right at the end.


wigglewhiz: (Default)
SO!

This afternoon was my interview with Company S. I was SICK with nerves last night, and had a very upset stomach today - I always get a very grumbly, sickie kind of feeling when nervous. Never really anything else - no headaches, and no butterflies... unless they're massive, churning, cramping, barfing butterflies. Also gassy. TMI! YAY! I should have posted my poop schedule on Bhuz.

Anyway! I decided randomly to wash my hair again this morning for the interview, since it was looking a bit flat and lank (too much anti-frizz serum, Ms. Whiz!). That... is quite an undertaking, so that ate two hours from 10 til 12. Gah. Then, quite unlike myself, I DID MY MAKEUP EARLY. I know. Who is this organised person and what is she doing in my bathroom?!

They'd emailed me yesterday to ask me to come in about 20 minutes before my interview time so that they could provide me with the "scenarios" they'd be asking me about. Erk. Made it in plenty of time, and the scenarios weren't particularly troublesome (and kind of predictable given the role, sio no major surprises).

The interview panel (of three) were very pleasant, friendly, and I felt quite comfortable. They asked a few questions about my career history and plans down here in the far south, then moved on to asking about the scenarios. I think I gave some pretty good answers (and was light on the waffle for once!), although they did ask me some supplemental, clarificationy type questions for two of the scenarios - nothing MAJOR that I'd missed, just little things that they wanted to bring me out on, I think.

In all, I *think* it went pretty well. The lead interviewer (the Chief Operating Officer) said herself without any prompting or justification from me that she thought the issue might be that I had no experience in the medical field, but that she felt my background at Company P was very transferrable. Yay! They ended the interview with asking if they could contact my references, so.... that sounds like a good thing, right? They also clarified my long term plans (because they want someone in the role for a good while, not a fly-by-night job hopper, which I kind of appear to be from my CV thanks to temporary contracts). Sound positive? I'm kind of thinking that it does and daring to hope a little.

The job looks interesting - challenging, but I think in a good way. I think I'd be good at it, and am ITCHING to get involved. I won't be DEVASTATED if I don't get it, it's not like it's my absolute OMG DREAM JOB, but I think it would be really good. They're hoping to make their decision within a week. WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME, because I have no patience and I hate to wait.

All good luck wishes, prayers for my job (as opposed to jobbie), non-animal sacrifices, fortune cookie sentiments etc gratefully accepted, dudes! (Particularly if the fortune cookie sentiments come with actual fortune cookies. NOM NOM NOM)
wigglewhiz: (Default)

Well.

That was totally pointless.

I went to my interview with the LOLCEO - he was very nice, very pleasant, very chatty. BUT. A terrible, terrible interviewer. Just... just awful.

He'd obviously read my CV and my project documents - but hadn't taken any notes on it or anything. Hadn't decided what he wanted to ask me about. CLEARLY hadn't actually thought about what he wanted this role to be (it's a new role), and how to ask questions that drew out the skills that he wanted the successful candidate to have - because he did not ask me ONE relevant question.

No, seriously. Here's some of the questions he asked me:
  • What brought you down South?
  • Is your partner a Kiwi, or is he Scottish too?
  • What does your partner do? Really? What does that entail?
  • Where's the rest of your family?
  • Hey, you were an Events Organiser! (uh... SIX YEARS AGO) What was that like?
  • So you used to work for Company P, eh? They've really changed direction recently, haven't they? (uh.... yes? And?)
Nothing really relevant to MY ACTUAL SKILLS. Nothing relevant to THE POSITION HE'S ADVERTISING. It was like he was obviously a good talker, and good with people - and he really thought that that was enough to be a good interviewer. It was SUCH hard work, trying to re-phrase his question in a way that I felt was meaningful for the skills I ASSUMED he was looking for, and then providing a good answer to that question. And it was AGONISING - loooooong moments of silence as he randomly flicked back through my CV and project details and pondered what to ask next. AGONY. At the end, he couldn't even answer the question I asked (about on averag what kind of sixe of company do they tend to work with most), and instead waffled something largely irrelevant about the history of the software.

Oh, and also, despite the advert stating that they provide Payroll, HR & Accounting software, he said that the Payroll & HR sides were minimal. And that I "may have picked that up from the advert". Uh, no, dude, because your advert stated "Payroll, HR & Accounting Software Solutions". I clearly marketed myself to you as a Payroll & HR Specialist. WHY ARE WE WASTING EACH OTHER'S TIME?!

He said he thought I might have a problem with the Sales side of things. He said he was going to be running the vacancy advert for a little while longer, because he hadn't had many replies - he's been advertising in various channels for about three weeks, apparently. He'll be in touch within about 10 days to at least let me know where he was with that. He didn't ask for any references, and he didn't discuss any salary details.

Yeah. I don't think I've got it, and I'm really not that disappointed by that thought. I just wish he'd put more thought into what he wanted from the position, written a better job description for the advert, and thought about what he needed to ask in the interview - it would have been a bit less like pulling teeth, at least!

Onto the next one - Company S on Thursday afternoon. Wish me luck while I tilt at more windmills!

Hmm.

Dec. 5th, 2010 09:26 am
wigglewhiz: (Default)
Toodling around the company's website yesterday, I discovered that the guy who emailed me from his Blackberry yesterday was the CEO and founder.

Uh... yay?
wigglewhiz: (Default)

So!

I had... a very bad day yesterday. I discovered an hithertofore (woot! Random unwieldy lengthy obscure old term! Possibly used incorrectly! But I like it, so FNAR!) unbeknown (Score 2! BOOYAH!) to me hole in the finances. Like... a BIG hole. One which caused a SERIOUS problem. A serious, non-rent-paying, can't buy any food for the pantry again, DEAR GOD WHAT WILL WE DOOOOOOOOOO kind of problem.

There were tears. Oh, many, many tears. It was... horrible. Himself and I had to... Have A Serious Talk About Our Relationship.

There was an emergency phone call to Ma back home, who has bailed me out of a hole YET AGAIN. Again. I love my mum (much as I know we both have our issues and can set each other off), and I love the fact that she's always there for me. I HATE HATE HATE that I have to rely on that. I hate that I am THIRTY THREE fucking years old and my mother still bails me out. I hate that my mum is the only income earner (at the moment, as her partner is currently setting up his own business), and as such things are tight for her - and yet she still bails me out of my problems.

I hate that I owe her about a squillion pounds by now, and that's not including food I ate as a child or anything (as if she was Agnes Skinner, you know), and I don't currently have any way of being able to pay her back for the forseeable future.

More than anything, I hate the fact that the money she is now sending to me is money that she WOULD have been using to come over here to see me, and that therefore now she can't do that. And I miss her so much.

I also saw a job advert yesterday. A PAYROLL ONE. Well, a vaguely payroll related one. (See my previous entry on why Payroll jobs are THE FROO-ITS OF THE DEVEEL for a bit of background on my general feelings.) It's a consultancy/sales position for a technology group - doing design, sales and support for Payroll, Accountancy and HR software packages.

I DON'T LIKE SALES.

I am NOT a salesperson, and I don't like being given the hard sell myself. I certainly can't imagine having to do it to other people - and I think OTE is basically a massive fucking SCAM and lets employers get away with paying a shitty base salary. BUT! I'm thinking that this position isn't likely to include any of the more horrifying aspects of sales jobs - in as much as there'll be no cold calling or door-to-door bullshit. *shudders*

A previous manager I had at my last job (Company P? Did I mention their name before?! Who knows. You'll totally know if you find me on LinkedIn. ANYWAY!) had held this kind of role himself before, and kept recommending it to me because I would be "SO GOOD" at it. I have asked him if he'll give me a reference for it, because I reckon that's got to be a doozy of a reference if you can actually have someone saying: "Yeah, I've actually *done* that kind of work myself before and I think this candidate would be FANTASTIC".

Anyway, the job advert didn't include a closing date, so I decided  to be quick off the mark (probably gee'd along by the Tearful Conversation Of HOLY FUCK WHAT NOW earlier in the day) and apply for it yesterday. I wrote a reasonably good cover email (kind of bolshy, figured that would be good for a sales post), fired off my CV and the Covert Awesomeness Document that I'd come up with for my earlier ill-fated Company E interview. I sent the email off at.... half 6 or something.

Today, I checked my Sensible Email Address... and there was a response from some dude's Blackberry *eyeroll*. At HALF PAST SEVEN the previous night. Can I manage to come in for an interview on Monday?

O_O

I emailed back, saying I was happy to come in on Monday, would he like me to bring anything, yadda yadda yadda. He has a Blackberry, presumably he'll still get the email even today or at some point over the weekend. He replied within the hour: "Say 2pm at the office, I don't think you need to bring anything. I have ur cv."

So. That brings our new running totals to:

Job Applications: 13
Interviews:             6
Job Offers:             0

I know I should be thrilled. Himself is very pleased - they must be KEEN! Because they're so fast! YAY!

And I *AM* pleased that I'm getting somewhere. But I find myself thinking: "Fuck, typical pushy salesman. Using his Blackberry on the evenings and weekend to work. They better not expect that of me. And he used fucking TEXT SPEAK in a professional email, what an asshat".

I KNOW. I know, I am a total fucking jerk. But that's what I'm thinking. I feel a little... rushed and uncomfortable. I feel like this may be some kind of scam - seriously, you're interviewing people before the job has even closed? Are you taking on LOADS of EAGER BEAVER salespeople on a fucking commission only basis? Because FORGET IT. And does "presentable" in the job advert really mean skinny and attractive, i.e. NOT SO FAST, YOU FAT PERSON! I'm dreading seeing the interviewer's face when I waddle in.

Am I wrong, flisties? I absolutely *WILL* go to the interview anyway (I have no info yet on salary, or the dreaded OTE componentness or anything, none of that in the job advert, SURPRISE SURPRISE), and MY GOD right now if someone offers me ANY job I WILL TAKE IT. But it would be good to know my gut is just overreacting. A bit.

Right?!


wigglewhiz: (Default)

Have a squizz at this advertisement, which appears with IRRITATING regularity on my television.

REALLY?!

First off, I absolutely, just cannot fucking STAND the start of the song Shout. I cannot abide it. Poor old Lulu screeching "WEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEE-EEEEE-EEEEEEEEL" immediately has the effect of making my scalp retreat (which happens when I'm REALLY, REALLY ANGRY - I think it's some kind of evolutionary mechanism like when a cat flattens it's ears), sets my teeth on edge, and has me reaching for the remote to furiously jab the "mute" button or to change channels.

What IS it with goddamned feminine hygeine adverts where they have to be so fucking NOISY and VISIBLE? Did you think this symbolised "fun!", Marketing Team? Because what it really symbolises is "FUCKWITS". Or "INCANDESCENT RAGE". Or straightforward GET THIS SHIT OFF MY TELLY RIGHT NAOW.

I'm not sure these ever played outside the UK, but remember the Bodyform advert? Where the fucking rawk chick (FUN! You too can be a rawking rawk chick! Even when your uterine lining is sloughing off!) yelled WHOAAAAAAAAAH BODYFO-ORM! BODYFORMED FOR YOOOOOOOOU!!!? That advert used to drive both me and my mother absolutely INSANE. My mum would yell "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, BAHDYFAHRM!" like an enraged muppet, which was quite entertaining in a "must lighten mood before we smash the fucking television" kind of way.

You know, Marketing Team, the thing is - we women kinda know about that whole menstruation thing. We know how it works. We know the kind of products we might buy. And while we might appreciate the dollars you're putting into making these product better for us, we kind of DON'T want you SCREAMING about them in our living rooms, 'kay? It's bad enough we have to put up with the PMS and the cramps and the INCOVENIENCE of the whole thing when it happens, but to have you SCREECHING your upbeat adverts  in our homes in what little non-PMS time we have, all "PERIODS! YAAAAAAAY! LOOK, WE MADE TAMPONS WITH LITTLE SHEETS ON LIKE LITTLE GHOSTS! FUN FUN FUUUUUNNNN!" makes us want to fucking rip our scalps off and firebomb your offices. This is perhaps not a successful marketing strategy, is what I'm saying. (Also, that if I need my tampons to have little wingy sheets on them to fill out some kind of VACUOUS CAVERN and catch resulting extraneous free-falling fluid, MAYBE I HAVE A WORSE PROBLEM THAN JUST MENSTRUATION.)

And seriously, Libra (back to the advert currently filling me with rage) - are you REALLY trying to tell me that your screamingly amazing new tampon developments are so great that I'll join the FLOCKS of women screaming with Boyband-worthy glee in the tampon aisle of my local supermarket? That I will DROP MY EGGS (and seriously, is there a hidden message there? Is that a euphemism or what?!), or clutch my long flowing hair and scream scream scream, or PASS OUT ALL CROSS-EYED WITH EUPHORIA?

Dudes. "Rounded tip". Well, HOLY SHIT. It's not like any other brands of tampons have been doing that for, like, EVER.

KNOTTED STRING. Oh dear god above, that is THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF! Revolutionary! What did we EVER do before this?! I WAS USING A SHOEHORN. *eyeroll*

Twist wrap! Well! That's maybe the ONLY vaguely innovative thing that you have here, Libra. It's marginally less annoying than the cigarette-wrapper-style pull tab. But it's HARDLY worth screaming and passing out over.

You DO make me want to shout, Libra. And what you make me want to shout is: "FUCK OFF!!1!"

wigglewhiz: (Default)

I *think* - and I hope, oh dear god do I hope - that the works outside my house are coming to an end. The road seems to have been topped up to it's final level, a larger, heavy top coating of gravel is down, and has been compacted and rolled flat (which HOLY FUCK, is such a noisy process, and the vibrations through the house border on glass-breaking). The final step has GOT to be replacing the tar seal, and then I CAN HAVE MY LIFE BACK. Also my driveway and a place to park my car off the street. Yay!
 

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I've been chucking out our stale bread into the back garden for the birdies, because I decided those goddamned ducks in the park were getting WAY too much in the way of the stale bread reserves of this town. I shall break their monopoly, even at the risk of being visited by Duckbutt mafiosi threatening me with concrete boots.

My back garden seems to have been claimed by a young blackbird, and he's taken to hopping out of the bushes and STARING at me whenever I head into the garden. Like: "Hey monkey! Where's the bread? Whatcha doing in my garden with no bread?!" It's very entertaining.

However, in Extra Specialness last night, Himself was about to head out into the garden (to get to the garage, where our tumble dryer is to retreive his work shirts), when he started hissing at me to come out. There, mooching around in the grass hoovering up the bits of bread the birds hadn't got to, was "our" hedgehog. We saw him for the first time a few weeks ago, shuffling out of the mulching/composting spot at the back of the garage and into the courtyard. I've been PARANOID about checking under the car ever since, and hadn't seen him. So it was great to see him, alive and well and unsquashed, wandering around the garden in his little hodgepiggy way. Himself and I sat at the back door, lights off, whispering to each other as we watched him wander.

I've named him Hoggle. After the character in The Labyrinth, of course.
 

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After my kvetching about OMG SMALL TOWN NEPOTISM yesterday (was it yesterday? TIME HAZ NO MEANING), I just got a call from the recruitment advisor at Company S, inviting me to an interview next Thursday.

w00t!

She's sending me a map of the place (it's a Hospital, so... yeah, it's HOOGE), a confirmaton of date/time and the names of who will be on the interview panel. (Panel = BOO. I'll hope for a panel of two, because that's been my most recent experience and is manageable. More than two is a bit intimidating. :os )

So, that brings us to:

Job Applications: 12 (including two Recruitment Agency applications, which should probably be counted under some other category)
Interviews: 5
Job Offers: 0


 


wigglewhiz: (Default)
So I just emailed off my CV (resume, American/French people!) to two Recruitment Agencies. Well, I emailed my CV to one and went through the online registration forms for the other, which was kind of a pain in the arse since it was fairly lengthy. And you KNOW they're going to call me in and go over the same screed of forms, questions, and horrible, horrible computery type-y competency test thingies anyway, even AFTER the lengthy registration process. Bah.

WAFFLE )

Anyhoo, in my desperation and in the faith that there MAY be non-industrial/agricultural jobs just sitting on the Agency books, I've enquired with these two Agencies. I've nothing AGAINST Agencies, having obtained my last two permanent jobs (that I stayed in for 15 months. Heh. BECAUSE I AM FLIGHTY) through an initial Agency placement. But I do hate the faff of the interview, and the competency tests, and the usual couple of completely IRRELEVANT jobs they try to send you on for peanuts. Which... dude, I will probably totally take anyway because godDAMN I am so BORED.

 
MOAR WAFFLE. This time about eyeliner! Random! )
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