GODDAMMIT

Weigh in results this week: GAINED 0.1 kg.

FUCK.

I know that's only 100g, but... FUCK.

I did 6 hours of total exercise this week. 6 hours. Which is nearly twice as much as last week. I haven't been able to point everything I've eaten, because we were in the "last week before pay week" death throes and I could only eat our old pantry stand-bys of WHITE PASTA and BREAD. But I didn't go batshit and I thought I'd managed to eat... well, sensibly enough. No fast food, no snacking, no massive portions.

Gutted, despondent, quite likely to cave in and have a bit of a snotter in self-pity. *sigh*

Will pull myself up by my bootstraps and just get back on with it in the fullness of time, but for today I'll just focus on the dreaded PROPERTY INSPECTION, OMG - which will probably be a disaster because of the mutilated bush thing outside that I haven't had time to remedy, and the overgrown grass which was meant to be mown today before inspection but can't be BECAUSE THERE'S ICE FALLING OUT OF THE SKY AGAIN.

FML.

Double Shitbow! SO INTENSE!

To top off my morning, just got rejected from the job that I RE-applied for just yesterday. So, current tally stands:

Job Applications: 7

Interviews: 3 (1 of which hasn't happened yet)

Job Offers: 0
 

I think it was another automatic system-generated rejection - because there's really no way an HR team has had time this morning to process all the applications this major employer (I'll call them Company F) would have received, and start sending out the standard rejection emails. The web-based application is full of tick-box and pulldown menu type questions, so I'm fairly sure if you just selected the wrong info (i.e. you selected that you have 1-3 years experience when the system is looking for the 3-5 years experience level in order to proceed) then you're out. It... has less sting in a way, to know that you're booted out by a robot, and MORE sting in a way because it means no-one even got to read your CV, and the actual ins-and-outs of your experience and acheivements are... well, pretty much valueless.

So, I guess I just have to cross all my fingers and toes for tomorrow's interview to go well. I... don't seem to be doing too well in interviews lately and I'm not entirely sure why. Communication difficulties? Language barrier? (I speak English, but... damn, my Glaswegian English is very different from Kiwi English). Fortunately the company I'm interviewing with tomorrow has a fellow Glaswegian (and GU almunus), so perhaps they'll be kind of pre-prepared?

Suck it up, put on big girl panties, once more unto the breach... I'm also going to man up and email the government organisation I applied for some weeks ago and never heard a peep from - do the mature thing of saying: "Hey, I guess I missed out this time, but having read up on your organisation, reading the position description and your recent public document I'm still very interested in working with you and hope to do so at some point in the future. Best of luck and many thanks again for your time".

It can't hurt, and might make me feel less... defeated if I close things off on my own terms.

*sigh*

gahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgahgah

ETA: An insider (well... someone who's husband works there) at Company F was asking Himself how I was doing and he mentioned my super speedy rejection. Her response went along following lines:

Her: "Hm, that's fast. How long was it advertised for?"
Himself: "Just a week"
Her: "Ah, that explains it. They only advertise positions for a single week if they've already got an internal candidate for it, and they just bin the applications they get. It's how it works in there."

And as soon as he told me that, I remembered how I thought it was weird that it was only re-advertised this time for a week, when the last time it was advertised the vacancy was open and advertised for three weeks.

Newsflash, Company F: You are a douche.  If you do this kind of dodgy recruiting practise and are such an intensely Unionised environment that you'll take an unqualified internal cadidate over possibly better external candidates? There's not a chance in hell I want to work in your HR team. Good day to you, sir.